The Daily Harold - Latest Comments

Re: Book Review: Getting Enough by Leonard Rosmarin

LenRoss — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 11:59:18 -0000

Superb review, Harold. You have really hit the nail right on the head. You have understood exactly what I hoped to achieve in this novel. May I wish the lucky winner many hours of happy reading!

Re: Politically Incorrect

Ralph Carlson — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 20:37:16 -0000

You are kind of young to be such a curmudgeon but it's great to see. Imagine what you might think at the ripe old age of 40?

Re: Is It Half Empty or Half Full

FutureExpat — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 18:24:16 -0000

Interesting. I'm here on a link from the ProBlogger 31-Day workout.

My nature has always been very optimistic, but I've found myself totally pessimistic for the past couple of years, due to overwhelming personal circumstances including some health issues. I've decided to embrace my pessimism for a while and see if there's any way to put it to work for me. . .

Re: Affirmative Racism

Joey — Sun, 31 May 2009 23:28:09 -0000

I agree that racism exists for all races including Caucasians. Jesse Jackson makes a living on it, just Google, “Jesse Jackson Coca-Cola shakedown” for an example.

Re: Affirmative Racism

Ralph Carlson — Fri, 29 May 2009 21:15:20 -0000

You have said what nobody has the nerve to say. Whites have been guilted to death over the past 50 years and we don't know when to say 'enough'. What majority has ever done as much as white Americans to fix what is wrong and what majority has ever been as villified while they do the right thing. But soon, they tell us, we will be the minority. Then we can get even. Right?

Re: Affirmative Racism

Rachel — Thu, 28 May 2009 22:37:27 -0000

I can see why you might feel that way.

However racism is more than just waving placards or yelling offensive remarks. Racism (and indeed, other forms of discrimination such as gender or sexual orientation) is so inherent in many of our institutions and practices that we are completely blind to it.

I'm not necessarily saying that affirmative action is the only way, or the right way - but it is one way.

I'll give you an example.

Here in Australia, in some places a criterion for granting someone parole is longevity at a particular address. Doesn't sound discriminatory, does it? This criterion is essentially testing someone's links to the community. A person with stronger links to the community has been found to be less likely to breach parole.

However Indigenous Australians don't usually have one fixed address for too long. This is for a number of cultural and societal reasons. Indigenous Australians were historically nomadic. Many Indigenous people today are essentially nomadic too however will travel between family groups or within family groups. Indigenous Australians are also more likely to rent and will accordingly move more often. Indigenous Australians however have very strong links to their communities.

What this particular criterion does is ties a particular thing "links to the community" to a particular cultural interpretation. Instead of having a criterion that can be assessed holistically based on the individual it is viewed through a white man's cultural filter.

This is but one example. It is everywhere. And people will not see it until people of all races and ethnicities are empowered to move into positions of influence.

Personally I think that affirmative action is a bit of a cop out. It doesn't properly address the true institutionalised racism which would involve a lot more thought, difficult questions and potentially unpopular actions. But it is better than nothing.

Re: How-To: Twitter

Joe — Mon, 25 May 2009 15:01:57 -0000

Very good newbie Twitter tutorial. I am planning on creating one for my site but I have about 40+ tutorials I want to create first. The next time someone asks me for basic help on Twitter or they want me to explain what it is I will point them to this page.

Thanks!

Re: What About Love?

Ralph Carlson — Fri, 22 May 2009 00:38:27 -0000

You made me think. But there's more.

Re: American Idol Season 8 Finale

Eve — Thu, 21 May 2009 10:51:43 -0000

Great rundown! I din't watch this season so it is nice to know what happened!

Re: Mad Skills

Byron — Wed, 20 May 2009 15:18:05 -0000

Wonder how many times he fell on his butt trying to perfect that...

Re: Five Ways to Have a Healthy Relationship

Harold — Wed, 20 May 2009 08:19:03 -0000

Josh,
I don't take it as sexist at all. Matter of fact when writing this I talked to a few different women and that's where that part came from. Comparing me saying "women for the most part are timid creatures" to a flat out racist comment like "black people for the most part are lazy" is apples to oranges. I'm basing what I wrote off of talking to various women before I wrote this. That was actually a direct comment from more than one woman. So your theory of why I've had so many bad relationships hold no water whatsoever. The reason I've had so many bad relationships is mostly because I've dated drama filled women who don't know what they want or some that didn't know how to grow up and get away from mommy and daddy. Sure I've been the constant in every failed relationship, but that does NOT make me necessarily the cause of each failure everytime. Sure I'm no angel by any means, but trust me I'm the last person that stereotypes people because I've been stereotyped my whole life. I've gotten the "oh he's fat so he's lazy" or the "oh he's overweight so he must eat a lot" when in actuality niether of those statements are true about me.

Re: Ten Ways to Survive a Divorce: Part 2

Joe — Wed, 20 May 2009 02:36:46 -0000

6-9 is excellent advice which basically tells people to stop moping, get out of the dam house and do some mingling.

Re: Why Do Women Cheat?

Eve — Wed, 20 May 2009 01:16:31 -0000

what a great post... I can really understand a lot of those... sadly :-( Even a great marriage has its troubles.

Re: Five Ways to Have a Healthy Relationship

Joshua — Wed, 20 May 2009 01:03:03 -0000

Women for the most part are timid creatures.

This is a sexist statement, equivalent to saying, "black people for the most part are lazy." I find that the best way to have a healthy relationship is to interact with a person and not a stereotype. I think I may have stumbled upon one reason you've had so many bad relationships.

Re: Why Do Women Cheat?

Issa Waters — Tue, 19 May 2009 19:31:07 -0000

Here's another reason for you: Monogamy is weird. You can be perfectly happy in a relationship - getting plenty of awesome sex, feeling appreciated, madly in love with your partner - and still be attracted to other people. Loving one person does not suddenly eliminate the possibility that you can love another person. What if I'm wonderfully happy at home, but there's an awesome guy at the cubical next to me. Why does my love for one person completely obliterate my ability to nurture a relationship with another? It doesn't. Maybe people cheat simply because that's built into the contract that they've accepted, hook, line, and sinker.

If you've signed up for a relationship model that leaves room for no other possibility, then you're in big trouble when it turns out that you DO really like that guy next to you at work. The monogamy model says that you have two choices if you want to stay with your current partner: you can 1) cheat or 2) deny your desires. One of those is dishonest, but the other is soul-and-self limiting and does nothing but reduce the amount of love, sex, and happiness in the world.

Fortunately, there ARE other relationship models. I recommend googling the word "polyamory". It's too bad that so many think that monogamy is the only option. It's too bad that so many people think that denying relationships with the people around you is preferable to bucking the status quo. There ARE other options, though, ones that allow for the full exploration of human relating.

Re: Five Ways to Have a Healthy Relationship

Harold — Mon, 18 May 2009 22:07:20 -0000

LOL! He may not like me too much after the Listen step :)

Re: Five Ways to Have a Healthy Relationship

Harold — Mon, 18 May 2009 22:06:55 -0000

I couldn't agree more! It does take work to make your relationship work but it's not THAT hard really.

Re: Five Ways to Have a Healthy Relationship

Harold — Mon, 18 May 2009 22:06:08 -0000

Just took me a few bad apples to find the good one :)

Re: Five Ways to Have a Healthy Relationship

Dad — Mon, 18 May 2009 20:28:46 -0000

Like Melinda and I told you many times, "One can't listen with their mouth open". It is WONDERFUL to know you finally mastered that technique.

Re: Five Ways to Have a Healthy Relationship

Eve — Mon, 18 May 2009 12:24:40 -0000

those are great tips, I need to practice these more in my marriage and email my hubby a copy of this! :-)

Re: Five Ways to Have a Healthy Relationship

nikki — Mon, 18 May 2009 12:00:18 -0000

this right on. I think if alot of people would stop and read this and try to fit these into there realtionships they would be alot happy and have a better realtionship with their partner.

Re: Mad Skills

Ralph Carlson — Sun, 17 May 2009 17:28:39 -0000

Don't try his at home.

Re: What About Love?

Ralph Carlson — Sun, 17 May 2009 16:31:33 -0000

Love is definitely emotional and that is how our society addresses it and trivializes it but I think that is only the start of it. Love is a commitment and when you make a commitment it goes far beyond high school infatuations and emotions. It is also an act of faith that your commitment (love) will be returned.

Re: What About Love?

nikki — Sat, 16 May 2009 09:04:28 -0000

i think you are right on this one to. Love you can feel it with all of your body and heart every time that person touches you or looks at. infatuation u have little feelings for but its not like when you love someone.

Re: Gay Marriage

Harold Martin — Fri, 15 May 2009 11:16:54 -0000

@Byron & @Joshua
I want to thank both of you for your comments on this post. You've kept this post alive and kicking and have made it my most popular post to date and the most commented. I'm closing the comments on this post as it has indeed run it's course. Thanks again.