Here's another reason for you: Monogamy is weird. You can be perfectly happy in a relationship - getting plenty of awesome sex, feeling appreciated, madly in love with your partner - and still be attracted to other people. Loving one person does not suddenly eliminate the possibility that you can love another person. What if I'm wonderfully happy at home, but there's an awesome guy at the cubical next to me. Why does my love for one person completely obliterate my ability to nurture a relationship with another? It doesn't. Maybe people cheat simply because that's built into the contract that they've accepted, hook, line, and sinker.
If you've signed up for a relationship model that leaves room for no other possibility, then you're in big trouble when it turns out that you DO really like that guy next to you at work. The monogamy model says that you have two choices if you want to stay with your current partner: you can 1) cheat or 2) deny your desires. One of those is dishonest, but the other is soul-and-self limiting and does nothing but reduce the amount of love, sex, and happiness in the world.
Fortunately, there ARE other relationship models. I recommend googling the word "polyamory". It's too bad that so many think that monogamy is the only option. It's too bad that so many people think that denying relationships with the people around you is preferable to bucking the status quo. There ARE other options, though, ones that allow for the full exploration of human relating.
Eve
· 7 months ago
what a great post... I can really understand a lot of those... sadly :-( Even a great marriage has its troubles.
All Comments
If you've signed up for a relationship model that leaves room for no other possibility, then you're in big trouble when it turns out that you DO really like that guy next to you at work. The monogamy model says that you have two choices if you want to stay with your current partner: you can 1) cheat or 2) deny your desires. One of those is dishonest, but the other is soul-and-self limiting and does nothing but reduce the amount of love, sex, and happiness in the world.
Fortunately, there ARE other relationship models. I recommend googling the word "polyamory". It's too bad that so many think that monogamy is the only option. It's too bad that so many people think that denying relationships with the people around you is preferable to bucking the status quo. There ARE other options, though, ones that allow for the full exploration of human relating.